Last Tuesday I woke up feeling a little confused. I had had a dream that I just couldn't figure out. In the dream I was having a very normal day. Waking up, biking to the train station, sitting in the train for 25 minutes, having a normal school day, getting back home etc. It was really just like any other day. Except... all day long my other shoe's zipper was open. Nobody else didn't seem to notice it, or they just didn't care, but the zipper really bothered me. And for some reason I couldn't close it. I felt like something was missing, like I was incomplete. And I remember dreaming about closing the zipper and feeling like a complete human being again.
Somehow at the end of my dream I was able to close the zipper. First I felt relieved. Like I hadn't been drinking for days and I finally had a glass of water. Like I had been running a marathon and I finally took the last step and crossed the finish line.
But the feeling didn't last long. Soon I felt disappointed. I felt inadequate. I felt the same as I did when the zipper was open. And I couldn't understand how something I've been waiting for so long felt so little in a blink of an eye.
So that was the dream I had. And because I am the endless lover of metaphors I had to figure out the deeper meaning behind my dream. I thought about it throughout my week and yesterday it finally cleared up to me.
The dream was about happiness and how in today's world we think of it as a destination. We think that someday we will be happy, when we get that job, when we fall in love etc. But that's when we go wrong. Because happiness is not a destination, it's a mood. It's not permanent, It comes and goes. It comes from ourselves. And if we are always waiting for the one day that we will be happy, we will miss things that could give us the momentary feelings of happiness because we are so focused on sailing to the final harbor that we think will make us happy. Happiness is not a destination, it's momentary feelings that we create, that we choose to notice, that we choose to feel.
|The most wonderful sister I could ever ask for.|