Leave your worries by the shoreline

Don't you worry. It's total waste of time. The more you worry, the more confused you get. It twists you around. You can't start a new page in your life if you keep re-reading the previous one. Remember, worrying will never change the outcome of the situation. It will never give you peace, it will never make your troubles disappear.

If it is your future that's making you scared, remember this. You have your whole life time ahead of you. You will figure out your career, you'll find somebody to love. You have 24 hours a day.Things will take time but oh well, you have time. Don't you waste it for worrying while you could be living instead.

And if it's people that make you worry, think about this. There will always be people you won't be good enough. There will always be people who want to see you fail because they know they don't have the same cabability to succeed as you do.

So don't worry. Relax. Think but don't overthink. Improve yourself but don't try to be perfect.

"Worrying is stupid. It's like walking around with an umbrella waiting for it to rain."
-Wiz Khalifa


Oh Stockholm, how pretty you are!

I have come to the conclusion that I am the only person who is holding the strings of my happiness. The strings that pull the smile on my face. The strings that make me laugh. Or the strings that make me cry, that make me feel like the world is falling apart.

I think we too often blame anything else but ourselves for our misery.
"It was the things he said that gave me a bad day. I was fine before but he just ruined everything."
"The weather is so horrible is ruining my whole day."

All this talk is lie though. The only person who is responsible for your happiness or misery is yourself. You decide how you respond to things. You decide which feelings you are going to leave behind and which feelings you decide to focus on and show to the surrounding world.
Every time you decide to let people effect your feelings in a negative way, you are giving away changes. Changes of happy moments, smiles, laughter, memories. Every time you stepping back from growth. The growth where you are strong enough to leave something behind, strong enough to choose what you feel, strong enough to decide your own direction.

So focus on you.

If it doesn't make you feel good, walk away.
If it's something you don't want to hear, shut your ears.
If it's something you don't want to see, turn you head.

Don't put the key of your happiness in someone else's pocket.


Freedom is never given, it is won.

This week, I really can't put my thoughts into words. So I will just give you a poem that I wrote the other day. I originally wrote it in Finnish so I will add the Finnish version here too.

Thank you. I wish you all have a week full of thoughts.

"Modern day citizen,                                                             "Nykypäivän kansalainen,
meaning of life to be a workaholic.                                      elämäntarkoitus työnarkomaanius.
In the black and white world,                                               Mustavalkomaailmassa,
just a society's object.                                                           yhteiskunnan objektina.
View of life comes from work ethics,                                    Elämänkatsomus on työmoraali
The destination is burn out.                                                  Päämääränä burn out.

Here authenticity is far away from a profit,                        On täällä aitous kaukana ansiosta,
truth is something supernatural.                                          totuus jotain yliluonnollista. 
Even if the mind was free,                                                   Ja vaikka mieletään olisi vapaa,
it would be in the collar of an assembly line.                          on se liukuhihnan pannassa.

Inefficiency is the largest of the sins,                                   Tehottomuus perisynneistä suurin,
show some humanity, it will be simplified.                          vähääkään inhimillisyyttä,
                                                                                             se yksinkertaistetaan.

Maybe one day,                                                                   Ehkä jonakin päivänä,
the society will give away,                                                   yhteiskunta luopuu,  
the floats around the nation.                                               koko kansakunnan kellukkeista.
And will understand,                                                           Ja ymmärtää,
it's not really living                                                             ei se ole elämistä,
to be in the straitjacket of orderliness."                             olla järjestelmällisyyden


Mon rêve très beau

Last Tuesday I woke up feeling a little confused. I had had a dream that I just couldn't figure out. In the dream I was having  a very normal day. Waking up, biking to the train station, sitting in the train for 25 minutes, having a normal school day, getting back home etc. It was really just like any other day. Except... all day long my other shoe's zipper was open. Nobody else didn't seem to notice it, or they just didn't care, but the zipper really bothered me. And for some reason I couldn't close it. I felt like something was missing, like I was incomplete. And I remember dreaming about closing the zipper and feeling like a complete human being again.

Somehow at the end of my dream I was able to close the zipper. First I felt relieved. Like I hadn't been drinking for days and I finally had a glass of water. Like I had been running a marathon and I finally took the last step and crossed the finish line.

But the feeling didn't last long. Soon I felt disappointed. I felt inadequate. I felt the same as I did when the zipper was open. And I couldn't understand how something I've been waiting for so long felt so little in a blink of an eye.

So that was the dream I had. And because I am the endless lover of metaphors I had to figure out the deeper meaning behind my dream. I thought about it throughout my week and yesterday it finally cleared up to me.

The dream was about happiness and how in today's world we think of it as a destination. We think that someday we will be happy, when we get that job, when we fall in love etc. But that's when we go wrong. Because happiness is not a destination, it's a mood. It's not permanent, It comes and goes. It comes from ourselves. And if we are always waiting for the one day that we will be happy, we will miss things that could give us the momentary feelings of happiness because we are so focused on sailing to the final harbor that we think will make us happy. Happiness is not a destination, it's momentary feelings that we create, that we choose to notice, that we choose to feel.

The most wonderful sister I could ever ask for.


C'est moi

(NOTE! English is not my native language so be patient with my grammar mistakes)

As I’m sitting here looking at this blank virtual paper and desperately trying to figure out how on earth could I sum up, in couple funny paragraphs, what really makes me me, I get a nostalgic flashback from my childhood.

I’m sitting in a round table with the same feeling inside of me. This time though, not looking at a virtual paper, but a spiral notebook called a Friend Book. Do you remember those? Those notebooks illustrated with Disney princesses, favorite animals, flowers etc. Those notebooks that you shared with your friends and where you basically had to write your life story in one page or two. And those books where the number of pages filled was more important than the actual content.

I always found it hard to fill those “Friend books”. I remember how I couldn’t understand how should I be able to tell that “In 20 years, I will…” section in two sentences. What kind of person I want to be, what kind of life situation I want to have, what I wanted to have achieved by then.

And when I asked about that, I remember people laughing at me and saying: “Just put what you want to do for a living”. And I remember thinking was it really supposed to be that easy?

Now having the exact same feeling of stagnation, I decided to write this introduction in that childhood format. Simplify things. Give you just a tiny glimpse of what I am, what I stand for. So filling up the overall picture will be in your hands my dear readers.

Name: Veera
Age: 18 
(mental age changes from 5 to 68 depending on a minute)
Address: ……, Finland
Favorite drink: Wine, coffee
Favorite food: Fondue
Favorite band/artist/composer: The Paperkites, Coeur de Pirate, The National, Kodaline, Daughter, Pentatonix, Jasmine Thompson, Ludovico Eunaudi, Edward Grieg, Arvo Part
Favorite Song: Katie Melua - Spider's web
The Paperkites - Willow tree march & Featherstone
Hobbies: Music (Playing the flute, Singing, Writing songs), Theater, Running, Drawing, Cruising, Writing, Photographing, Deep thinking, Nature walks with no destination, To Confuse people

The most important things in my life  Values: Equality, Freedom, Tolerance, Justice, Balance
Things I love: Travelling, Philosophy, Poetry, Metaphors, Irony, Mysteries, Taking risks, Smiling, Languages, Echoing sounds, Getting lost, Morning dewy grass between your toes, Fog, Hights, Mountains, Spontaneous ideas, Striking up a conversation with total strangers, Canoeing in a lake as smooth as a millpond, Swinging with your head downwards, Oregon, San Francisco
Things I hate: Discrimination, Being misunderstood, Finnish Spinach Soup
I'm Scared of: Everything and nothing.
My Biggest Wish: To grow as a person. So when I take my very last breath on this planet, I will be the best version of myself.

And if you wonder the name of my blog, here’s an explanation. Elysian is a Greek word for wonderful and delightful. And haze is, well, haze (kind of like fog or mist). Why did I put a Greek word and an English word together?  Because: We should not be limited by language, we should not be afraid to speak freely.

And the way I see life, it’s like an elysian haze. We are not seeing clearly, we are walking through life with the uncertainty of what is going to happen. But it's a wonderful, beautiful walk. Life is an Elysian haze.